Reality and Hope

Time Not Wasted

As I look back on the blogs I posted and the coaching sessions I have had in 2010, I notice a theme: the preciousness of time. We are all so compressed, and so many of us feel like we simply run out of time day after day.

I realize that almost everyone reading this blog will have their own theory about why that is. In the end, it may just come down to the fact that we spend our time doing what we value.

Rather than looking at a new strategy for “time management” in the year ahead, perhaps we must take an honest look at what we value to understand why our days, weeks and months can get away from us.

Catch and Release

I love fishing. I have been oddly drawn to it since I was an adolescent. Some people enjoy being in the mountains, on a beach, or in the desert, but for me there’s something about being near a stream that brings peace.

The type of fishing I love the most is fly-fishing for trout. Since I don’t particularly like the taste of trout, I use the method called "catch and release."  (Even if you have never fished before, I'm sure this method requires no further explanation.)  

It struck me this morning that “catch and release” is also what we need to do with our possessions in life. It is when we catch and hold that we get into trouble.

The Right Thing

Today I watched an interview on the Fox News website with a professor from the University of Arizona. I don’t usually watch interviews like this, but the title caught my attention: “When to Walk Away from a Mortgage.” 

I invite you to go listen for yourself. All I can say in response to this interview is that walking away from your obligations is a bad idea.

I don’t mean to imply that there aren’t situations in which honest people must make difficult decisions. But this professor stated that walking away from your mortgage – even if you can still afford it - is an acceptable practice, and that people should not feel any guilt or shame.

Unite and Win

There is an enemy in the world. Every story we have ever been told that has touched our heart reveals that there is a good side and a bad side to things. Dark and light. Evil and benevolence.

The success or pain that we feel in life is, in large part, a result of our willingness to fight evil and join good.

Now, this is a topic that is very deep and requires much thought. My point today is not to engage in a philosophical debate about the existence of good and evil, but rather to offer one key strategy to destroy the enemy.

Your Way

Some time ago, Daniel Harkavy and I crafted a presentation entitled “Your Way” for one of the quarterly meetings of our Masters Coach group. The essence of that lesson was to unearth the little “ways” of doing things which combine to make us successful.

We weren’t looking for the obvious disciplines, but rather the behind-the-scenes everyday activities that we rarely look at or question in our lives. We asked the group questions like, “How do you awake in the morning and what is your ritual?” “What is the manner with which you go through e-mails?” “What is the last thing you do before you leave the office each day?”

'Tis the Pre-Season

Once again, we are approaching the time of the year when reflection and planning seem to be the norm.

I have long advocated that we capitalize on this season for planning and thinking…and yet we must not take our eye off the proverbial ball to ensure that we finish the year strong. With each passing year it seems increasingly difficult to accomplish both of those things simultaneously.

So many of us are busy, while others seem to do well at winding down and letting go. In the spirit of Reality and Hope, I offer the paradox of finishing well with our to-do’s, while also allocating the appropriate time for thinking and reflecting. Striking the balance between the two is a good equation for this season.

Set Straight

Action seems to be at the epicenter of the coaching profession. Most people agree that, if they would take the actions they know they should, then they would become successful.

The actions that most people need to take are not mysterious to them. This begs the question, “Why don’t I just do this?”

Sometimes as coaches, when we are in the midst of helping a client identify the actions and put them into their calendar, we pause to ask the question, “Why aren’t you doing this?” The “why” question can quickly turn a coaching session into a counseling session. But sometimes, counseling is exactly what is needed.

We Will Never Do Great Things

Mother Teresa of Calcutta was an Albanian-born Catholic nun whose life was so revered that today she has become a euphemism in our country for perfection. Hence, when we fall short, we say “Well, I’m no Mother Teresa.”

In my own quiet time this morning I came across a quote by an incredible woman who apparently didn’t think she was a “Mother Teresa” either. She said, “None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Anomalies

By definition an anomaly is an inconsistent, odd, or peculiar situation. It may be surprising to you to know that, from time to time, I have clients - including the guy reflected in the mirror - who do not always do what they say they are going to.

Yes, I realize that this is a shocker, but it is sadly true.

All action plans do not get competed with excellence and on time. Now for the record, I am not writing about any one individual here (so clients, do not e-mail me and accuse me of giving away your dark secrets). Truthfully, I am referring to almost everyone I have ever coached.

A Time for Everything

I have often made reference to King Solomon’s wise words about seasons. In Ecclesiastes 3, he writes that there is a time for everything: “a time to live and time to die,” “a time to plant and a time to uproot,” “a time for war and a time for peace.”

I am drawn to the idea of seasons because it so accurately represents reality and hope.

If I were to focus on reality all the time, I may as well ask you to go and read the NY Times every day. That’s enough reality to choke an elephant. The news so rarely provides us much hope.

I still marvel at the way our culture feeds on negativity. Is it because if we see enough bad stuff, it will somehow make us feel better about ourselves?

Today, I am going to camp squarely on hope.